More on Banks the Christian Mingle Rapist

Christian Singles Dating - Christian CafeBefore we get to the story there are two things that I need to make clear.

First of all Mr. Banks is accused of raping two victims he met on dating sites, one in 2012 from Christian Mingle, and another one in 2009 he met on This proves my point in the previous post that as a rapist he would have done it regardless of the name of the site he found his victim on.

Second, there are other crimes that took place through dating websites. For instance on abc news website there are two related stories: a woman suing for $10M because it matched her with a guy who stabbed her and almost killed her. Now this is more serious than rape if you value life more than dignity. Another story on the same website is about a man, 50, being charged of scamming 10 victims on a dating website. The man promised them marriage and got them to invest in a bogus company and ripped them off their savings. For some this as bad as rape if you consider that if you trust someone you might invest all of your life savings in his company and end up with no retirement you trusted the wrong person.

Have you ever heard the term “Catfish” in the online dating world? Watch the video below:

More ABC US news | ABC World News

Back to Mr. Banks. The sentence of 37 years to life for raping two victims seems satisfying to the victims.

In a previous post I mentioned that he is a graduate student. The news is that he’s an ex naval officer. Doesn’t matter really.

Now to the big point that I want you to take home ladies. The mistake of the most recent rape victim is that after a month of texting she invited him over to her apartment to watch a movie on thanksgiving eve.

As a Christian she is not supposed to do that. She is not supposed to invite a man to be alone with at her apartment and watch a movie together without any other company.

As a man I sympathize with her, especially after reading about the details of the rape and the horror she went through. “Surviving a rape leaves you feeling dead inside”, her words describing how she feels, are enough for me to keep her in my prayers. However, also as a man I find being invited to spend time with a woman in her apartment alone watching a movie (regardless of what kind of movie) is extremely tempting. The man brought his own bar with him as the victim says. This is someone who came prepared for the sin.

The first time you meet your date ladies please do it in a public place. Not only the first time to be frank. As long as you haven’t heard the phrase “You may now kiss the bride” you’re not supposed to meet in private. Remember our enemy whose job is to misguide us and take us with him to eternally burn in the Hell fire.

This website is here to promote chastity among Christians, and safety among daters in general. Date with that in mind. You have already sold yourself to the Lord. You are not free to do whatever you want with your body. And inviting a man you had never seen before to be with you alone at home is not safe. The Internet allows predators to change their skin as frequently as you change your cloth. Our subject in this post is someone who used an alias instead of his real name, and exchanged thoughts about Jesus and the bible with his victim. This is a good example of what anonymity could bring to you if you’re not careful enough.

The devilish nature of the sinner here got him all the courage he needed to use the holy scripture verses to get to sinfully fulfill his desires. He even twisted the meaning of the verse: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good” during his trial, and forgot that despite that God intended it for good, the person who committed the harm is still an evil sinner!

It’s a good idea to run a background check on the person you are interested in dating. It’s the least you should do if you are serious about your relationship with that person.

Click here to run a background check on anyone.


Where to go for a first date

Christian Singles Dating - Christian CafeAs mentioned else where on this site the best place to find a date who appreciates the same values as you do is through your Church. If there is a dating service in the Church then it’s a good place to start. There are also reputable online dating services for Christians like Christian Cafe and eHarmony.

After you find someone you are interested in through your favourite dating service, or through friends and family recommendations, it’s time to start seeing each other to know more about one another, which is also known as “dating”. Before you think of what to wear or what to say to them you should be thinking about where to go on your first date.

Where to go for the first date is totally up to you of course, but there are places better than others because as a devoted Christian you are different from the rest of the community. And instead of listing places that fit for a first date it’s better to list the criteria of such a place.

The first criterion of such a place is to be a public place. Devoted Christians don’t date in private places where temptations are at the maximum. In public everybody can see that you two are dating so that no one will try to approach any of you for a date. Also you can learn more about each other preferences when you discuss choosing a place for your first date.

The second criterion is that it should not be a place where the only drinks available are alcoholic such as in bars. You need to be sober all the time you are with your date, and especially on your first date. The first impressions last longer and are not easy to change.

A third criterion is that it should have proper illumination because you two need to see each other clearly. Day light is the best of course if available, but if you have to meet at night the kind of illumination plays a role on how you two perceive the other. Night clubs are not an option in this context for the illumination part and for being too loud.

And this brings us to the fourth criterion, which is that it should be where you two can hear each other clearly. It’s a big turn off if you keep asking your date to repeat him- or herself.

A fifth one is that it’s preferable not to go where everybody knows the two of you. One reason is that you’ll not have the time for each other with everybody around you greeting you and asking embarrassing questions like “are you two dating” or “what happened to Jane or John” (your ex)? Another reason is that you don’t want to be approached by someone who might want to ruin it for you because of issues between you and them.

And remember that the Lord is watching over you. Don’t let Him see you doing something He dislikes for you to do. Please Him and you’ll be amazed. Be honest, be yourself, and be chaste if you expect the same from your date.


Christian Dating Online – What Are The Benefits

Christian Singles Dating - Christian Cafe

By Bill Williams

There has been a rapid rise of Christian dating online services. This article aims to highlight some of the benefits that a Christian dating online services provide as they address the various hurdles one would have to overcome in seeking out that Godly mate.

There has been a rapid rise of Christian dating online as a result of changing work patterns and lifestyles making it difficult for Christians looking for a suitable spouse. In some cases Church congregations tend to be smaller and may not have many single Christians and even then, none may be that special person. It is therefore no great surprise to the rise of Christian dating online as an attempt to address the various hurdles one would have to overcome in seeking out that Godly mate.

There are several advantages to Christian dating online some of which are listed following.

1) Most Christian dating online sites require that subscribers provide a personal profile. This allows one the ability to search and review profiles of people that you believe that you are comfortable and compatible with. You then have an opportunity to evaluate peoples profile, including religious background and faith culture, making it more probable that you will find just the right kind of person with whom you can spend the rest of your life with. There is therefore no pressure to compromise your hearts desire, just be patient and make full of every available resource that a Christian dating online site offers and be an active participant. Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord and he shall give you the desires of your heart.”

2) Having come up with a short list, most Christian dating online sites offer some form of secure email or chat facility, so you do not have to give away personal contact details to total strangers until you get to know them. If the Christian dating online site does not offer secure email you are best to get a free yahoo, hotmail or similar account and use that until a level of trust has been achieved. Relationships should never be rushed and Christian dating online allows you to build relationships in a relaxed and secure environment.

3) Most Christian dating online sites have various forums that enable you to exercise your spiritual gifts through prayer, bible study and general discussions. These forums are a great way that Christian dating online sites facilitate the assessment of possible matches especially if the people you are interested in are active contributors. Some Christian dating online sites will also facilitate meetings in local areas allowing you to meet in a secure public place and more importantly in the company of other Christians.

4) For the more adventurous, Christian dating online sites provide the opportunity of building relationships with people who may not be in your immediate geographical vicinity.

5) Finally it appears to work, several Christian dating online sites report that several of their subscribers do indeed find the spouse of their dreams. However, reading the success stories would indicate that a lot of time, work, patience and prayer goes into building a successful relationship and a willingness to keep on using to the full, resources that a Christian dating online site offers.

In conclusion, Christian dating online allows for the connection to other like minded Christians. The developing of relationships, and eventually leading to the finding of that special person in a secure and spiritually healthy environment.

Bill Williams is a youth leader as well as the director of small groups within his local church, For more information on Christian dating online, free downloadable dating resources which include articles, reviews on the best Christian Dating Online sites, visit his blog All About Christian Dating Online

Note: If you find this Christian dating outline article useful, you may reprint it on your website, ezine, or in your newsletter as long as the credits above remain intact and the hyperlinks to All About Christian Dating Online stay active.

Copyright Bill Williams 2007 All About Christian Dating Online

Article Source:—What-Are-The-Benefits&id=517142


Make Her Laugh

Christian Singles Dating - Christian CafeThis post is specifically for men who found the woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with and don’t know how to approach her. It’s also a good start for those who have issues with their marriages. It also works with stubborn kids and teens.

The absolute best in approaching a woman for marriage is to make her laugh. It is also proven scientifically that when we laugh our brains release some chemicals, and subconciously we relate the good feeling we have when we laugh with the surroundings. That’s why there are places that you have special feelings for because you have had good times there laughing and enjoying yourself.

The same with people. If you feel happy in a certain place you relate to everything around you including people, and specially the person who made you feel happy.

Now let’s focus a little bit about making her laugh. If you can get her to genuinely laugh with you from the heart she’ll subconsciously relate you with the good feelings she develops while laughing. The more you do it the more this correlation builds, to a point when she feels good around you even if you don’t make her laugh. So when you approach her for marriage she’ll seriously consider your proposal because she wants to be around you all the time.

Note that I said “laugh with you” and not “laugh at you”. If you can make her laugh at you she’ll feel good and happy, and she’ll develop some feelings for you, but not the kind of feelings that can lead to marriage. Women love to be around a funny person all the time, but clowns are good for a certain time for a certain occasion not all the time.

The combination that works towards making her want to spend the rest of her life with you is seriousness most of the time with breaks of a joker who makes serious times feel good instead of stressful. It’s a combination that only a small percentage of men know and practice.

For the most part this combination of humor and seriousness comes naturally to that small lucky percentage of men. However, if you don’t have this combination by nature you still can learn it.

I once attended a series of video classes that teach how to combine seriousness with humor, and the presenter coined a term for it: “High status humor”. The course is meant for any man who wants to win the heart of a woman. So please don’t be turned off by his approach to other guys who just want to date casually, it also works for serious ones who live with the believe that the Lord is watching over them and want Him to see them only where it’s lawful to be.

===> Click here to attend the “high status humor” classes online.

Christian Dating Sites Rape

Christian Singles Dating - Christian CafeToday in the news I heard the story of a PhD student accused of two accounts of rape, a burglary. and a threat to witness not to talk. Although it’s not news so far because it happens all the time, what caught my attention is the mention of the site Christian Mingle in the story. Christian mingle is the main sponsor of this blog, and over the years there were no complains of the site itself. That’s why I wanted to write about it.

Christian mingle is a dating site. Their job is to collect the information from the participants and then based on this info they suggest matches for every member according to what they have to offer and what they want in their match.

So far Christian mingle is like any other dating site. They collect the information and match the members.

The problem has nothing to do with Christian mingle, or any other dating site. All the dating sites work the same way, more or less. The threat is not from those sites in particular. The issue is the anonymous nature of the Internet.

Anyone can fake personal data and create a profile on a dating site. And if you remember the story of my friend who was a scam victim of a very famous and expensive website.

You can read her story here.

This incident of a man raping his date has nothing to do with the dating site, or the Internet. The person, if really guilty, is a rapist. If he can perform on a resisting victim it means he is aroused by her suffering. Normal people would be turned off with serious resistance.

I am assuming, and I could be wrong, that the rapist in the news above could have done it without the Internet, and without Christian mingle. If he starts dating a woman he knew from the church and got the opportunity to be with her alone he would have tried to rape her.

The point I want to prove to you is that a rapist is a rapist regardless of how he met his victim. It’s a personal behaviour and has nothing to do with technology.

If you agree with me on this point, you might as well wonder with me why did they name the dating site in the news. Is it an attempt to defame Christian mingle? It could be. Could it be an attempt to defame Christian dating sites (because they only mention the name of the site in the details, the headlines say “Christian dating site”) in favour of secular ones?

You can read more about this news on NBC News.